My Old Lover

I used to have a notebook that held all of my creations. These creations were words that lingered on a white page. Somehow, these words that sat alongside each other built some of the pieces that I absolutely adored. I think of poetry as my first steps into the writing world. Crawling, stumbling and then finally walking as I saw the words flow like music notes, no longer as poetry but as fiction instead. Creative writing was a fun hobby for me in elementary school. In middle school, it became something I truly loved. In high school, being a novelist was the number one thing I wanted to achieve. However, for some people their old passion simply becomes that, a part of themselves that lost all of its spark. I deal with this old passion of mine everyday. This is because I major in it. Now, you may be wondering why I am majoring in something that I lost passion for? I just don’t have the best answer that satisfies that question.

I do not despise creative writing. I will never hate creative writing or hate that I loved it so much. I will always remember reading one of my poetry pieces during my fifth grade graduation, ignoring the nerves that traveled throughout my body like a train. Feeling the corners of my mouth form into the brightest smile, after my friends would finish reading the fiction stories, the roller coasters that I put them through. Their positive reactions were lovely to me. The completed magazines and poetry books that were produced and polished and involved my own work will forever be some of my highlights of high school.

Do I think about my choice of majoring in creative writing? Yes I do, but I do not nor will I ever regret my choice. Creative writing will always have a special place in my heart. It is just my old lover. I could only hope that the energy and motivation I put into it would return someday.  It is very fascinating how you could lose a part of yourself so quickly, just as much as it is fascinating that you could also gain a new hobby, a new passion, a new lover. Your old lover vanishes and becomes another thought that just wanders within your mind, making an appearance on the most random days while your new lover allows you to look forward to another achievement or goal, or simply allows you to feel happiness and excitement again.

Yasmine Johnson is a junior at Marymount Manhattan college. She is an English major with a concentration in creative writing.